-Mr. Wineburger, Dawn Davenport is eating a meatball sandwich right out in class and she's been passing notes.

-That better be Cha cha heels.

-I've done everything a mother can do: I've locked her in her room, I've beat her with the car aerial. Nothing changes her. It's hard being a loving mother.

-Well I just use common sense. I mean, if they're smart they're queer, and if they're stupid they're straight, right Earnie?

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